Do Lesbian Relationships Last Longer than Gay Relationships?
Just 3 weeks ago, I was in a gay party hosted by the Fabcasters. It was my first ever all-gay party I’ve ever attended in my life although I have been to parties with mixed lgbt crowd. This time, only 3 girls were there, one was Ruby (the admitted fag hag) and us, the only lesbian couple. I really appreciated the fact that a lot of the gays there approached us and had enjoyable conversations with them. Although most of us were already drunk because of Soju, the conversations were interesting. The most common theme that they asked us, as a lesbian couple was that “How do you make the relationship stronger?”. When they learned that my girlfriend and I had been together for almost 3 years, a shocking reaction was anticipated by us. These gays would usually tell us that, it’s not really common among gay relationships to have relationships longer than a few months. I asked myself why, is it because of pre-determined biological explanations?
I would like to believe that it’s not only biological pre-determinations that define how one is behaving, no matter what their gender or sexual preference is. Although coming from the Sociological background, I would like to believe that there is a balance between the social and biological influences. Many say that gays are more inclined to lust than love. I don’t want to generalize here but this was some of the stereotypes I hear about gays. On the other hand, lesbians are biologically women and prioritize emotions rather than lust. So I was just wondering what if we let go of the stereotypes and just live and love as how we want to be? I just wonder.
16 Responses to Do Lesbian Relationships Last Longer than Gay Relationships?
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Well, my partner and I just turned 8 two weeks ago. Yes, we’ve been together for 8 years and nothing has changed yet since the day we first met—we still love each other as much. And we feel lucky, very lucky.
@B&H,
Congratulations!
I also experienced having an 8 year relationship which ended more than 3 years ago. Although we had a bad break up, I learned a lot from that long relationship and made sure that I don’t commit the same mistakes I did with my new relationship. Thanks for commenting and I wish you the best in your lovelife! 
same sex relationship didn’t quite last because of lack of talking i mean sometimes they are just tied up of biological means…but if they really love each other beyond any means and reason then they will share lots of fruitfull years…wish i could find one…hehehe
@kate,
you’ll find one whether it’s with the same sex or not. I hate to be a hopeless romantic but hindi talaga siya pinaplan. It just happens without you knowing na matagal na pala. Sometimes it helps that you don’t count how long your relationship has been. I keep on reminding myself that my girlfriend and I are almost 3 years na pala. Parang kelan lang…
i think its safe to say.. lesbian relationship do last longer than gay relationship.. cause alot of lesbian do look for serious relationship.. base on my circle of friends.. but i also think that it really depends on the mind settings of both couple.. nd how they really handle the relationship well..
i think,lesbian relationship last longer than gay..kasi i have lots of friends gays and lesbians..honestly im a lesbian,my girlfriend and i are almost 3yrs..were happy even thou we will never last forever..sa gay kasi nagtatagal lng relationship nila pag bout gays tlg sila,unlike us na girl and lesbo tlg..well gudluck for your relationship..i hope it will last longer..=) i am wishing it too..napanood niyo na ba yung rome&juliet? mgnda yun..bout girl sila na nagka inlove-an..ang pagkakaiba lng ng romeo&juliet dun kalaban nila family nila sa rome&juliet nmn lht pati yung community..
Haven’t experienced a long-term same-sex relationship…yet. But all my gay friends did tell me that with them, it’s really the libido that does the talking. So monogamous gay relationship are very very difficult to maintain. I always catch them checking out different men online anyway.
When my partner and I started dating we never expected it to last long but as of moment we have been together for eight years na..crazy, but true
“gays are more inclined to lust than love.” This is one of the funniest stereotypes cause it’s true and false at the same time. The thing is we all have crazy libidos and the fact that we don’t have to worry about getting knocked up (getting someone knocked up) just make sleeping around easier. And since we like same sex we easily communicate with each other. Also, hello? Have you been around bars lately? they’re full of promiscuous straight people. Straight people are as lustful as gay people. I think that stereotype rooted from hypocrisy and jealousy.
Anyway, I’ve read a book written by a gay guy that’s title Gay Marriage. It’s an old book but still relevant. He explained the difference between gays and lesbians, males and females. Genetically, women are more inclined to spend the rest of their lives inside their own couple world for as long as they live while most men are used to being outside, they’re used to looking at the landscape and grabbing the next opportunity.
Me and Matt are on our way to our Second Year! Two more months to go!
It is true that some of our gay friend are a bit polygamous, some of us really wanted lust. But most of us really dreams of having forever.
It’s not a matter of sexuality, it’s a matter of maturity.
@kate, you’ll find one whether it’s with the same sex or not. I hate to be a hopeless romantic but hindi talaga siya pinaplan. It just happens without you knowing na matagal na pala. Sometimes it helps that you don’t count how long your relationship has been. I keep on reminding myself that my girlfriend and I are almost 3 years na pala. Parang kelan lang…
before i do not believe that same relationship would last longer until my girlfriend came up… we’ve been almost 3years together but sadly we broke up..
but i still believe on it.. i mean in a relationship no matter your in same sex relationship or not its still depend on bout of you..
hopelly makahanap ulit ako…”(
It can be at times difficult for men – regardless of sexual orientation – to consummate relationships because of various factors: socioeconomic, biological, and psychological.
Men lacking socioeconomic status often have difficulties making relationships last due to inability to sustain a stable lifestyle and relate to others due to limited education. It’s common in men however, in same-sex relationships for both partners involved to empathize with each others’ social and economic conditions because often, they are held to the same standard in accordance to norms and mores society sets eg., men must provide for family, men must compete, men must not cry, men must be confident etc. Because of their ability to identify with each other, fraternal bonding takes place setting the foundation for a same-sex relationship. If a socioeconomic imbalance exists, mistrust exist for biological/physiological reasons.
Men tend to go astray. Because, naturally, men have a higher concentration of testosterone than woman, they’re prone to seek gratification sexually – to seek another “conquest” whereas women are driven by the idea of long-lasting relationships based on intimacy and trust.
Overall, chances are better for woman to sustain a meaningful, lasting relationship. It is more accepted by society and commitment tends to be valued by women, regardless of sexual orientation. Men’s inherent ineptness for intimacy and societal pressures, though initially leading to same-sex relations among men, they are also factors in hampering same-sex relations; therefore putting the odds against men.
hi gud pm everyone.i just brow this site and find a lot of interesting topic… specially about relationship with same sex… my partner and i just turn 16 years and 3 months still love each other, we don’t have a perfect relations dumaan kami sa mga pagsubuk lahat na yata dinaanan na namin still strong pa rin kami best secret is we respect each other pag may kunting alitan we need to talk heart to heart and eye to eye so that we know what we want each other….
16 years is LONG. my longest relationship is 5 years (on and off) i do hope my current relationship will beat that record. In my circle of friends, which consists of lesbians, only a few of us get in serious relationships. I did read a book written by a gay writer that lesbians are more apt to live in their own little world than gays.
Sa tingin ko naman dun makikita pagkakaiba talaga ng babae at lalake regardless of gender.
ei im kath this site caught my attention..well i want to share this kind of experience I met this girl in working in training were not dat close but she caugth my attention..but pasimple lng ako coz im not totly in to same sex rel. im just curious what made her stay with her girlfriend shes cute charming but it ends dat wen I was assign in one of the company I was apply..and we start txting become close and closer I know shes into relationship 3years na sila until such time there’s something happened until we have something for each other..we asid I love you m.u kng baga until time na nahkita kmi with feelings na for each other we kiss did things what a lover did I fall for her I know its not right thing to do but I cant help myself to love her iba kasi xa magmahal shes so sweet and caring until such time pumunta ako xa lagar were she work and mi nangyari xa amin it was my first experince I did it because I love her but sad to say it was the last time we were be together bcoz she said we need to move on kasi magkakasitan lng kmi were not into comitment kasi I ask her If nakipagbalikan xa xa gf nya sabi nya I dnt care what ur thinking den nalaman ki na lng nakipagbalikan xa xa gf nya and she was proud to be in relationship xa gf nya I was badly hurt parang ginawang tanga ako..I was so stupid to belive she love me…sabi nya xa frend ko matagal na ksai cla and wlang makakapantay xa pagmamahal na bibnibagy nga gf nya parang gusto ko xng isumpa kasi kng saan mahal ko na xa subra doon nya narelix\ze mas mahl nya ang isa shes so stupid …